My mullet was born in the summer of 2012 when I wanted to piss off my boss at Jimmy John’s. I decided to keep it after playing rugby sevens and feeling the cool breeze on the top of my scalp whilst simultaneously feeling my mane fluttering in the wind like the American Flag. The Father Mullet nickname arrived in 2016 at WRST-FM Oshkosh when my station manager walked into my office, pointed at me and said “Father Mullet” and walked out. I dug the name, became ordained online for $25, had a friend sew up a set of denim priest robes, now I travel Wisconsin and join Man and Woman in holy matrimony. Humble brag is that none of them have divorced yet, my track record is 100%. When I’m not doing that I am the most famous mailman in Fond du Lac, handing them their utility bills and highly sought after advertisements as I brave rain, sleet, and snow as I traverse treacherous sidewalks and snarling dogs in a race against time to make sure everyone gets their Temu packages by dinner. I placed 15th in this competition last year, and I am determined to improve amongst a field of incredible and absolutely filthy mullets.